Fratres in Christo: Brothers in Christ

Fratres in Christo. “Brothers in Christ.” This slogan is familiar to many faithful of our diocese, particularly Cardinal Muench alumni, and residents of the Cardinal Muench Men’s Hall at St. Paul’s Newman Center, where I acquired the phrase. Admittedly I don’t think I fully appreciated the one-liner until I entered seminary this fall.

As a fresh graduate of North Dakota State University, and one of Fargo’s newest seminarians, a lot was changing in my life. I left all my friends in Fargo and headed nearly 500 miles south to the humble town of Seward, Neb. Now, upon my initial Google search, I was excited to see that the scenery wasn’t going to be changing much. The seminary is located right next to a Case tractor dealer, a Walmart, a bar, and plenty of cornfields. Upon arriving, I was pleased to find we were also located not far from a cattle feedlot, which, if the wind is blowing just right, the smell could peel the paint off your vehicle.

After an uneventful 8-hour drive I wasn’t necessarily in the mood to meet a bunch of new people. The first few days at seminary were like a pre-teen’s first day in high school with orientation, lots of new faces, and a schedule that seemed impossible to follow. In a strange way, I really wanted to be there, but at the same time, would not have minded waking up to find out it was all a dream. In the first few weeks, I met men from all walks of life and from various points on the higher education spectrum. There are freshmen (College I) to Pre-Theology (those who have already received a degree) with ages ranging from 18 to 26; making for a robust community. The best part of all is that every single one of them is striving to live a life totally for Christ.

The seminary has some interesting ways of gently forcing us to get to know each other. Things such as community recreation (dubbed as “forced fun” by those who are not fans of sports), house jobs, chores, community Holy Hours, and community nights. These things that sometimes seem excessive, or unnecessary could not be more necessary. These events promote unity within the house, and they help us get to know each other, our strengths, and our weaknesses.

I made it through the first few weeks, and surprisingly, I didn’t discern out (though it did cross my mind after a few weeks of forced fun). The transition from NDSU to seminary was rather difficult. For starters, seminarians are not allowed to have jobs. This allows them to focus on their studies, prayer, and their apostolates. With no job, I had to address the workaholic mentality I had developed through four years of being a full-time student, and working a full-time job. With so much free time, I found myself overthinking just about everything. A profound sense of loneliness started to creep in, despite the brotherhood I had so very clearly observed. I started to blame God for bringing me to this seminary so far from home and so far from all of my friends. It was evident that I was entering into a spiritual battle that I had not experienced before.

It was during this period of spiritual desolation, which lasted a number of weeks, that I discovered what it really means to be “brothers in Christ.” A fellow seminarian noticed that I was not doing so well. Normally you’d think a person who’s only known you for a month wouldn’t really press you on the issue, but he did. After all, they have no vested interest in your well-being. But that didn’t matter, we discussed in depth what was going on, and though he didn’t have much advice, he did something that was even better. He offered to pray with me and for me. He invited me to bring my problems to someone who was higher than both of us. It was this simple act that made me feel heard, made me realize that we are all in this together, and recognize that we are brothers who are trying to help each other grow closer to Jesus.

There have been many graces bestowed upon me these past few months, like growing in my prayer life and delving into my studies, but the most rewarding of them all has been growing in fraternity with my brother seminarians.