Marriage preparation: Strengthening the bond before the vows

So, the big day is coming and you have your wedding all planned. You have the church booked, the hall reserved, the dresses and suits ready, the caterer has the menu, the florist has your order, and the photographer is booked. You even have the guest list narrowed down and the invitations sent. However, is someone missing on that guest list?
           
Many couples are so wrapped up in the wedding day plans that they forget to invite in their hearts the most important guest, Christ himself. The Catholic Church teaches that a truly successful marriage must have Christ at the center. Marriage is a sacrament—an unbreakable bond—and couples who wish to marry in the Catholic Church are required to do some preparation ahead of their wedding day.
           
“Marriage is a vocation and the Church has a vision for it,” said Jennie Korsmo, coordinator of Marriage Preparation for the Diocese of Fargo. “We wish to equip couples so they can live this sacrament to the best of their ability. Marriage Preparation is done with the hope of strengthening marriages for the future and equipping couples to live out the Catholic vision of marriage in their own lives.”
           
The Diocese requires couples marrying in the Church to attend a Marriage Preparation Seminar, which are offered throughout the year on weekends in Grand Forks and Fargo. Among several topics discussed during the weekend are basic beliefs of the Catholic Church, conflict resolution, sacrament and spirituality, theology of the body, and natural family planning. Engaged couples take part in large group discussions, presentations, assignments, and couple interaction.
           
“I try to help them understand the sacraments in general and the sacrament of marriage and penance, confession in particular,” said Monsignor Joseph Goering, Rector of the Cathedral of St. Mary in Fargo. “Hopefully it will invite them to a great celebration of the sacrament of God’s mercy through opportunities for confession, that they start their marriage with that idea in their head. We know we can’t do anything alone, and God's sacraments are the ways that he helps us to live in a wonderful way. So the best possible marriage is the sacramental one, keeping God at the center of the marriage.”
           
Seminars are directed by a host couple, who offer their experiences with life and the ups and downs of marriage. They unpack their story throughout the weekend to show real-life examples of some of the issues that couples might experience in their marriage.
           
“We talk about developing an intimacy with God and recognizing that there’s this triangle that happens,” say host couple Brandon and Tonia Clark. “The husband and the wife are the bottom corners and then God is on the top. The closer we get to God, the closer we get to one another. We can’t do this without God.”
           
Caitlin Schellberg and Peter Treinen will celebrate their wedding later this year. For Caitlin, who joined the Church at this year’s Easter Vigil Mass, marriage preparation helped her to see more clearly the importance the Catholic Church places on the sacrament of marriage.
           
“I wouldn’t have thought about any of this, wouldn’t have known about any of this if I hadn’t joined the Church,” said Caitlin. “I’m just really happy and thankful that this weekend has been a part of it because it just makes me feel like we’re not alone. Everyone goes through hard times and you should never give up because obviously it’s not easy, but you can get through it. You just have to keep praying and stick together.”
           
“This marriage prep is a helpful tool for us, and I’m glad we’re doing it,” said Peter. “I think it’ll give us a good jump-start to know what to expect once we’re married.”
           
“We want couples to see that we don’t have it all together,” said Tonia Clark. “We probably never will have it all together, and we’ve gone through a lot. But with God by our side and being willing to do the work, you can have a beautiful marriage. And we do have a beautiful marriage.”
           
Information on what the Diocese of Fargo requires for engaged couples before they marry in the Church may be found at www.fargodiocese.org/marriageandfamilylife.