Reflections on brothers leaving seminary

As a seminarian, I get asked a lot of questions: “What is seminary life like? What are your thoughts on this or that event in the church? What is the metaphysical difference between quantity and matter (luckily, this one is rare)?” One question I’m asked frequently is: “What is it like when somebody leaves the seminary?”

This is a hard question to answer because every man in the seminary is different, so every time someone “discerns out,” it’s always a different experience. However, there are a few common aspects: some degree of surprise, sadness, and hope.

There were a few men towards the end of my freshman year at St. Gregory the Great Seminary who would not be returning in the fall and one who left very early in the year. The man who sticks in my mind as an example of surprise, actually discerned out during the summer after my first year. I was surprised because over the course of our one year together, he struck me as an extremely holy guy.

I do not mean to say that I had a false perception of him and that he was, in fact, not holy, nor that the seminary is reserved for only the most holy of men. I do not want to conflate the terms “seminarian” and “saint,” but he was the kind of guy about whom you could say, “He will make a very saintly priest.”  When I heard he discerned he was not called to the priesthood, I remember thinking, “If he’s not called, what am I doing here?” After the initial stun wore off, life moved on, classes continued, and I started to realize how a man can be called to the seminary, not necessarily to be ordained a priest, but to consider the priesthood, and to learn to be open to God on another path.

I could give many examples of sorrow for men discerning out. I discovered one classmate had discerned out after I arrived at school for junior year only to see his name missing on the room arrangements. When diocesan brothers leave, they take a distinct character of our diocesan group with them. One of the best friends I made at seminary told me personally this summer he had been called elsewhere. An element of sorrow is present every time a brother leaves because the seminary naturally draws good men to it, men who want to do God’s will, men who form good friendships, men whom we proudly come to call our brothers. But I’m not writing this so people feel sad for us or for those of us who discern out, nor to vent some frustration over my brothers coming and going. “Hope springs eternal,” as the saying goes.

I’m writing this because it is part of seminary life, the beautiful and blessed life seminarians lead. I’m writing this remembering the good men who have walked the path of discernment with me, whether all of it thus far or only a part, men whom I am honored to call my brothers in Christ. And I’m writing this to ask for your prayers, not only for me and my brother seminarians, but for all the people of God who are discerning their vocations. The Lord knows it is not always an easy road; it has many hills and just as many valleys, but it is a path showered with his blessings and love.