Taking flight

I sit looking out the window of a plane, the smallest portal to the greatest perspective that most people will ever attain in this life. It is incredibly foggy and heavy blankets of clouds are hiding the sun above. The wheels release their contact with the airstrip, and we slowly begin our ascent through the many layers of fog and clouds that obstruct my vision. As we continue to ascend, the layers of clouds are peeled away allowing me to see further. Soon evidence of blue sky begins to reveal itself and the clouds begin to fade away. We rise ever further until we find ourselves flying high above an ocean of clouds with the sun shining brightly in the bluest of skies. Nothing but beauty; nothing but peace.

There is something about flying that has always captivated me. From our limited human knowledge and understanding of God’s great mysteries and creation of the world, I get the tiniest feeling of being carried up into the heavens. The view before my eyes never fails to offer me an entrance into another dimension of life and mystery. For once, the bustling world below is hidden away by a blanket of clouds, and I can think with a little more clarity. Soon a plane crosses our path below us, and almost simultaneously, another plane crosses in another direction. Three planes cross paths, and likewise, so do many peoples’ lives as they travel en route to their destinations.

From this vantage point, one might realize just how small and seemingly insignificant we are in comparison to the world. We are only but a speck in this magnificent universe that God has created, so why should we reasonably believe that we could make any difference in it? Instead, why not just take care of ourselves and not worry about anything or anyone else? Well, it shouldn’t be a surprise, but it doesn’t take a very big window for God to reveal to us even greater realities in life. One of these is that we are not alone in this world. Our journeys, our hopes, our dreams, and our struggles, are not ours to bear alone. Rather, our lives are meant to be shared through the ups and downs of daily life.

After considerable thought, this past year I took flight to discern a call to the priesthood. Upon first arriving at seminary, it quickly became apparent just how mysterious it was that we all ended up in the same place. Our stories were unique, having come from many different backgrounds and cultures across the world. What stood out the most was how each story included ups and downs en route to this destination. However, simply arriving would not solve every problem that we had ever struggled with up to this point. We were about to enter into a journey together with one most important thing in mind, our call to serve the Lord. God was going to be walking with us, and loving us every step of the way as we continued to discern our calling… together.

The decision to enter seminary was the hardest decision I ever had to make. During the numerous years prior to my decision, many people who knew me well continued to ask me if I had ever thought about checking out the seminary or becoming a priest. Although I was not fully convinced of the possibility for many years, I decided to step out on a limb. In stepping out, I have come to learn a great deal more about myself, our Catholic faith, and the great leaders we have in formation who will be leading us into the future.

With the help of my brother seminarians, priests, and staff at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary, I took flight and ascended to new heights even though my direction was not fully clear. But when one places his life within the hands of the Lord, his providential care is made manifest. I sought clarity when entering seminary, and much of that did come, rather quickly in fact. And so my flight has taken a different course as I have decided to step away from seminary. I did not make this decision entirely on my own, and I am grateful for all those who have walked with me, but a few things are for certain. It wasn’t wasted time, and I know that I am not alone as I move forward, for I have God and new brothers who I can lean on in times of need.

If there is anyone out there who is on the fence and feeling like they want, or need, to step out onto the runway, do your best not to be afraid for God will be with you. You never know how high you may fly.
 
Shane Hendrickson is a Pre-Theology I seminarian studying at St. Mary Seminary in Emmitsburg, Md.
 
Editor’s Note: Seminarian Life is a column written by current Diocese of Fargo seminarians. Please continue to pray for them.