The step into ordained ministry

At the end of this past April, after five years of seminarian formation, I received a letter from Bishop Folda that would change my life forever. He wrote, “With this letter I am formally calling you to ordination as a Transitional Deacon for the Diocese of Fargo.” This letter is called a Call to Orders, and every man must receive this call directly from his bishop. My letter had finally arrived.

In the days and weeks leading up to the ordination, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I had heard stories from friends of how nervous they were in the lead up to their ordinations. They were certain the Lord was calling them, but there was something daunting to them about the prospect of actually entering the life-long commitment to the requirements of ordained ministry. One even told me he couldn’t sleep at all the night before his ordination!

I was pleasantly surprised to have the exact opposite experience of these friends. During that time, the Lord graced me with a deep peace and joy in anticipation of the day. In times of prayer, memories of many of the grace filled moments of encounter with the Lord kept coming up. Through reflecting on these memories, I began to see how Jesus had used all of these moments to call me closer to himself, and in doing so had been calling me down the path of ordination for a very long time.

Jesus was showing me how he had been willing this for as long as I can remember (in fact for much longer that I can remember) and had been guiding me through all my life to get me to this point. It became clear to me that Jesus wouldn’t stop his help and guidance after the ordination Mass. He would continue to be with me, and help me to follow him in my new life as a deacon, and eventually as a priest. With that in mind, it was hard to feel anything but peace and joy as I prepared to embark on this new journey of life.

The day of ordination itself began not that different from many others. I woke up (quite well rested, I should add!), got ready for the day, grabbed a cup of coffee, and went to the chapel to pray a morning holy hour and Liturgy of the Hours. The ordination festivities themselves are somewhat of a blur. Part of this was the sheer amount of stuff that happens on an ordination day, with rehearsals, the liturgy itself, and a reception afterwards. Another part of it might have been nerves starting to hit. If there were nerves, they weren’t from being daunted by entering ordained ministry, but rather from a desire to make through the liturgy without making a mistake. After all, the newly ordained is put to work right away, fulfilling the liturgical responsibilities of the diaconate only minutes after becoming a deacon!

Since ordination, I have been working at my summer parish assignment at Little Flower Church in Rugby, St. Mary’s in Knox, and Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Balta. The days have been filled with simply learning new things, learning how to serve the deacon’s role at Mass and celebrate liturgies permitted to the deacon such as wake services, how to serve the people of these parishes, how to live this new life of ordained ministry.  There have been many moments where things have gone well, and others where my inexperience has shown.

One of the biggest fruits of this process has been learning to be patient with myself as I learn how to live this life. As I learn, Jesus has continued to bless me with the same peace and joy I have been experiencing for months now. Most importantly, he has continued to be with me and guide me down the path he has called me to.