Apostolate an opportunity for growth, humility, evangelization

As I entered my second year of seminary, what I looked forward to most was getting an apostolate. The apostolate program at the seminary gives upperclassmen seminarians the opportunity to put some of their education and formation to practical application by helping in schools, religious education programs, nursing homes, etc. The thought of applying some of what I have learned at seminary along with my love of the Lord exited me. I also saw apostolates as a taste of the role of a diocesan priest in the world. The seminary is a wonderful place, and I am so thankful for its many blessings, but as a priest, I will spend much of my time in a different environment. Apostolates provide a little reminder of what seminary is preparing me to do.

At the year’s beginning, the pandemic and associated restrictions were still affecting life in Nebraska, so I was unsure if I would spend this year with my desire to have an apostolate unfulfilled. Thankfully, after speaking with many parishes and schools in the region, enough of them were comfortable with seminarians coming that we began apostolates in the middle of the fall semester. My apostolate this year involves assisting in the confirmation classes of a Spanish-speaking parish in Lincoln, which has been difficult but also an opportunity for growth.

I grew up learning both English and Spanish, having lived part of my childhood in a Spanish speaking country, though English has always been my dominant language as it was the language spoken at home. Even with this familiarity of Spanish, I have not been using it as much as when I was younger so I worried I wouldn’t remember enough to be an effective teacher. In the first few classes, the students were not very engaged or responsive to my questions. Since my catechesis has been primarily in English, it was often a humbling experience when I tried to talk about a theological topic in Spanish. Whenever I asked a question in Spanish, they often answered in English, which I worried was due to them noticing my struggles with theological vocabulary. The teachers I’ve been assisting are gracious in helping me fill in the words I can’t remember or just never learned. In addition, my apostolate is also a considerable time commitment each Wednesday, which makes finding time for prayer more difficult. My initial experience left me drained and lacking confidence. Thankfully, this is not the end of the story.

With time, I became more comfortable teaching lessons and entire classes. The students opened up and asked more questions. I also found the students often seemed to prefer English, likely from going to school in English. Though making some things easier, this wasn’t what I hoped for. I wanted a Spanish refresher, and to see how well I could articulate the faith in Spanish. Still, I began to love my apostolate, and I am thankful for both its many blessings and difficulties.

My apostolate has been an opportunity for much growth. I’ve become more comfortable sharing the faith. It has also helped me battle perfectionism. I found I am self-conscious and uncomfortable speaking when I am not sure that everything I am saying is correct and intelligent sounding. I tried to put up a façade and plan everything out to the point that I was not letting myself be myself. This impeded the way I shared Christ with the students. However, when I finally let myself be myself, the students became much more interested, and holding their attention never posed much of a problem.

I still don’t have everything figured out and I would not consider myself an experienced teacher in any regard, but through my apostolate I have grown much as a teacher, a seminarian, and a man.