Ask a Priest: Can I be happy for someone’s wealth while being thankful for my own poverty?

The full question is: “Some of my friends (who don’t practice the faith) have recently come into some money through inheritance. I’m happy for them, even though my husband and I struggle with money each month. In fact, sometimes I’m glad I don’t have more money because it seems healthier for my faith. Can I be sincerely happy for them, while also being thankful about where I am?”

We are in a season leading up to Christmas known to make people feel like they don’t have enough. A beautifully decked home is an accusation that we haven’t even dug into our decorations. A trip to the mall submits us to a barrage of ads formatted to make us feel like fulfillment is just a purchase away. It is a jarring contrast to the celebration of a baby boy, born to a poor couple who could provide no better bed for him than an animal’s trough.

I am reminded of what St. Ignatius of Loyola calls the “First Principle and Foundation,” of our spiritual life. He writes, “As far as we are concerned, we should not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor…. Our one desire and choice should be for whatever is more conducive to the end for which we are created.” To put it in a biblical way, St. Paul writes, “I know how to get along with little, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need” (Philippians 4:12). How does he keep such equilibrium? “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

When our vision is shaped by trust in God, any circumstance can reveal his hand of providence. A timely illustration comes from “Tiny Tim” in Charles Dickens’ classic, A Christmas Carol. Tiny Tim had just arrived home from church on his father’s shoulder when his mother, Martha, asks Bob Cratchit, her husband, how Tim’s behavior was in church: “As good as gold,” said Bob, “and better…. He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas Day, who [it was that] made lame beggars walk, and blind men see.” Tiny Tim’s words began to warm even Scrooge’s cold heart. Tiny Tim believed that even his crippled legs could be a blessing if they made other people remember Jesus’ miracles.

The poverty of the Cratchit household is a reality for many. It is difficult and oppressive, and it cries to Heaven for justice. Yet many (like perhaps yourself) may not live in poverty but still cannot enjoy the niceties that others can. In the eyes of God, this is no curse. In fact, it may be the difficult and unrequested gift that opens (or has opened) your eyes to the other innumerable and unappreciated gifts God gives each day.

It sounds like your heart and your values are in the right place, glorifying God for the benefits others receive without feeling inadequate about your own. When we find the peace that only God provides, we learn to see the many lesser things he provides as well.