Curing loneliness one bite at a time

Loneliness. 

The subject comes up quite often in the media, especially during the holiday season, that “most wonderful time of the year.” 

Recently, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy released a study identifying loneliness as a growing public health epidemic. 

Entitled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, the study’s report asserts that even before the COVID-19 pandemic, about half of U.S. adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. The physical consequences of this loneliness are serious—isolation increases the risk of premature death almost as much as smoking and obesity. 

Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation identifies six “pillars of change” intended to combat loneliness. Dr. Murthy hopes these concepts will guide future social and health policy at every level. 

The sixth of these pillars, cultivating a culture of connection, is something we can all work on. 

Dr. Murthy observes that food is central to building a culture of connection. “When we gather with others around food, we not only feed our bodies but also nourish our spirits,” he wrote. 

Dr. Murthy has published a practical guidebook entitled Recipes for Connection, Inspiring Social Connection One Bite at a Time. 

One of the book’s “inspirations for gathering” is most appropriate as we prepare for holidays. “Gratitude acts as a powerful glue, a reminder of love and kindness that brings us closer to our friends, family, and community. It feels good to show appreciation—for you and the person receiving your thanks. Who’s someone you would like to thank?” 

We might also ask ourselves if we are aware of someone who is especially lonely and in need of attention and affection as the holidays approach, even if we may not feel naturally drawn to them. 

If someone like this comes to mind, don’t delay! Give them a call and suggest getting together for a meal or a cup of coffee. 

Food can serve as a powerful force for forging deeper connections. Through the rituals of cooking and eating, we feed our friendships, creating lasting memories one bite at a time. 

Hopefully, our commitment to practicing this ministry of presence will extend well beyond the Christmas season. Knowing how to walk with and listen to others mirrors Pope Francis’ aspiration for the church. 

Listening is more than hearing, the pope has said. “It is reciprocal listening in which everyone has something to learn.” 

Through a shared meal with someone older and more experienced than yourself, you might even learn how to be a better cook! 

Pope Francis’ vision is inspiring. For him, synodality’s goal is to “plant dreams, draw forth prophecies and visions, allow hope to flourish, inspire trust, bind up wounds, weave together relationships, awaken a dawn of hope… and create a bright resourcefulness that will enlighten minds, warm hearts, give strength to our hands.” 

Although the Synod on Synodality is over, the Jubilee Year of Hope picks up where it left off, encouraging us to reach out to others while at the same time helping ourselves. 

As we read in the Vatican’s decree on the Jubilee Indulgence, “In a special way ‘during the Holy Year, we are called to be tangible signs of hope for those of our brothers and sisters who experience hardships of any kind’ (Spes non confundit, 10) … The faithful, following the example and mandate of Christ, are encouraged to carry out works of charity or mercy more frequently, especially in the service of those brothers and sisters who are burdened by various needs.” 

Such works of charity can help us to obtain the Jubilee Indulgence, releasing us from the consequences of sin. 

We ourselves thus benefit spiritually when we visit our brothers and sisters in need or difficulty, “in a sense making a pilgrimage to Christ present in them (cf. Mt 25:34-36).” 

I love this phrase because it reminds me of the words of Saint Jeanne Jugan, our foundress, “Never forget that the Poor are Our Lord… It is Jesus whom you care for in them.” 

“Belonging isn’t just a nice bonus—it’s a human necessity,” Dr. Murthy wrote in Recipes for Connection. 

I think Pope Francis, and Jesus Christ himself—who came among us in his Incarnation to convince us how much he loves us—would concur. 

So, let’s pull out our favorite recipes, or order a culinary favorite from Grub Hub, invite some friends or neighbors over, and allow hope to flourish as we weave dreams together!