Free program offers emotional help for couples facing infertility issues

Couples dealing with infertility issues often times face isolation, guilt, a degree of separation from couples with children, and even the Church. The Diocese of Fargo is now offering a program to help couples face these issues and to help on an emotional and spiritual level by offering a road map for maintaining emotional wellness and health during the process of treating or coming to terms with infertility.

Organic Conceptions is a program that offers audio courses to guide couples to emotional wellness. It was initially a program for doctors to share with their patients dealing with infertility and was promoted as something to integrate into their practices.

“The subject of infertility has been on the diocesan radar for some time,” said Brad Gray, Director of the Marriage and Family Life office for the Diocese of Fargo. “Lately more and more couples are dealing with infertility than ever before. It’s often a cross that can be so burdensome, so crushing for couples that it becomes their identity… they see themselves as an infertile couple.”

The goal of the program is not to eventually help couples to conceive, but to help them to better deal with either positive or negative results of trying to conceive. Scientific studies have shown that when couples learn to navigate, cope with, and adjust to the stress of infertility, there’s a physiological effect that makes conception more likely, and if conception cannot take place, it helps the couples be more open to their issue and to other means of having a family, like adoption.

“When you are struggling to build your family, it’s so easy to become fixated or even obsessed with the physical and mechanical side of conception,” said Marc Sherman, the founder of Organic Conceptions. “We often dismiss the importance of our emotional health as we ‘give up living because we are living to try.’ Through this unique research, our program is able to help couples ensure that there is alignment and harmony between their physical, emotional, and spiritual state.”   
 
Often times couples feel neglected or forgotten by the Church, especially on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day when moms and dads are asked to stand and be recognized and to receive a blessing. It becomes all that more poignant for these couples on what they don’t have. According to Brad Gray, it’s the goal of the diocese to try to express to couples dealing with infertility that they’re not forgotten, that the Church cares about them, recognizes their suffering as significant, and wants to draw them closer.

“Infertility can become such a strain on a relationship,” said Gray. “With this program, couples can learn to become emotionally healthy and connected. Couples dealing with infertility many times come to see themselves as broken or something that doesn’t work, which is so contrary to Christian teaching. The program helps them to see themselves as not broken and that they are truly loved by God, and that he delights in every one of us at every moment.”

What’s different about this program is it deals much more with the emotional aspect of infertility than the physical treatments, but it can be mutually beneficial.

“It’s more about preparing our minds for conception just as you would prepare your body for conception,” said Sherman. “Within just a few months of trying unsuccessfully, there is a high level of doubt, worry, and fear that begins to build. For many couples, they are worried and fearful before they even start trying. The goal is to ensure that we normalize these emotions and use the wisdom of these stories and research to provide clarity, trust, and unity as we progress forward.”

The program involves a degree of anonymity for couples facing infertility issues, unlike a public Mass or support groups that many dioceses still offer. Couples are, understandably, hesitant to participate in those kinds of programs.

The Diocese of Fargo’s partnership with Organic Conceptions offers couples a three-month program at no charge. For more information, go to www.fargodiocese.org/infertility under the Emotional and Relational Support section. There is also a video available there to learn more about the program.