How can I teach my children to pray?

Teaching our children to pray in today’s world is no easy task. With new forms of communication and entertainment that seem designed to limit our children’s attention span, how can we teach them to set aside a bit of time to spend with God in prayer? You help them form a habit of prayer.

First, we should start teaching prayer when our children are young. In fact, I think the earlier we start the easier it will be. Do you have a talkative preschooler? Teach her some prayers. Do you have a babbling toddler? Say some prayers with him. Do you have an unspeaking infant? Pray while holding her. Are you carrying a child in your womb? Pray with him (that would be awesome and super pro-life!). I don’t think there is a bottom age limit of when we can start praying with our children.

What is the benefit of starting so young? It will help your child to form the virtue of prayer. The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines virtue as “an habitual and firm disposition to do the good” (CCC 1803). In other words, virtues are good habits. A large part of parenting is forming good habits/virtues in your children. Prayer is no different. If you’re concerned that your child will not understand what he or she is praying, don’t worry. Understanding can always come later, but the habit can be formed now. I remember as a kid while praying the Glory Be, I always wondered who Shelby was (“ever shall be” vs. “Shelby”). I figured it out eventually.

What do I teach them at such a young age? You can start with the basic memorized prayers: the Sign of the Cross, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, and Prayer Before Meals. Just as important as the words of the prayers is the habit of praying at regular times: praying before meals, while waiting for the school bus, after supper, before bed, or before doing homework (a virtue double-dip: they learn to pray and do homework at a reasonable time).

Children in later elementary years will be able to grow in their understanding of prayer. They can learn what the words of the prayers mean. They can develop a more conversational style of prayer. One form of prayer that we taught at our diocesan Young Disciples summer camps is praying in three steps to God as our PAL (Praise, Ask, Listen). First you and your children can take turns offering praise and thanks to God. Then you can take turns asking God for the things you need or praying for other people. Lastly you spend some silent time to pause and listen to God, after which there can be a period of sharing. PAL prayer teaches our children that they can talk to God and that he can speak back to them.

Teenagers like to “graduate” from kiddy stuff. If your teenager (especially a high school junior or senior) has this desire when it comes to prayer, you might introduce them to something more advanced. When I was at Cardinal Muench Seminary, I was introduced to a type of scriptural prayer called Lectio Divina. The basic version is a slow, quiet reading of a small passage of scripture. As I pray with the scripture, I pay attention to the words that stand out. God can then speak using those words. For more information, check out www.loyolapress.com/catholic-resources/prayer/personal-prayer-life/different-ways-to-pray/lectio-divina.

Lastly, I advise praying together as a family. This is good for all ages. Pick a set time when you’re typically all together. Maybe it’s daily, maybe it’s once a week. You can pray the rosary together (in whole or in part). You could pray PAL prayer together. You can take turns telling God one thing you’re thankful for, one thing you want help with, one person you want to pray for, and maybe a moment for silent prayer. You can have the older children teach the younger ones their prayers. It can be a time of rest for your family from the busy world.

Giving your children the virtue/habit of prayer is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You don’t even have to be good at it yourself. You might even be learning how to pray alongside them. If you take the time to show them that prayer is important in your life and in theirs, you will help them develop a solid habit of prayer.