“I will teach you and you will learn”

In a certain sense, it’s really hard for me to believe that I am less than one month away from my priestly ordination. I’ve been going to school for 21 years now on top of dreaming of becoming a priest since I was 14 years old. A part of me never thought all of the schooling and the seminary formation would ever end!

I can remember back to when I was 18 years old and thinking: “Eight years of college is such a long time. I just want to become a priest as soon as possible.” At that time in my life, I couldn’t understand or comprehend why going to seminary to be a priest took so long. Now looking back over all the years I spent in seminary formation, I see why.

It's hard to sum up all I have learned and all the numerous ways in which I have grown as a man during my six years of seminary formation, but I think there’s one story that begins to answer the question why going to seminary to become a priest takes so long.

Last year, the night before my diaconate ordination, we were having our traditional holy hour for all the deacon and priest ordinandi at the Cathedral of St. Mary in Fargo. I remember relating to the Lord in prayer how ill prepared on a practical level I felt about being ordained a deacon. On one hand, I wasn’t super nervous about having to do some of the practical things a deacon does such as preaching homilies or performing baptisms. I had practiced these things a lot at seminary. On the other hand, I had only practiced once how to serve as a deacon at Mass in my liturgical preparation class.

I remember telling the Lord that serving as a deacon at Mass is the one thing that I will be doing every day, and even though I’ve seen it done a thousand times, it’s one thing to watch something be done, but it’s totally different to do something yourself. It was this simple thing that was making me nervous and causing me a good amount of anxiety.

In response, the Lord consoled me with many experiences I gained over my years of seminary formation. Through these memories, he showed me and told me, “Joseph, when you joined seminary, you didn’t know how to pray, but I taught you and you learned. When you were in seminary in Detroit, you didn’t know how to minister to the poor, but I taught you and you learned. When you were in seminary in St. Paul, you didn’t know how to do hospital ministry, but I taught you and you learned. And now you don’t know how to be a deacon, but I will teach you and you will learn.”

In other words, the Lord showed me that learning how to be a deacon would take some time. I would make some mistakes, and that would be okay. He also showed me that he was going to love me and provide generously for me through it all, just like he had always done before.

Over this last year of seminary, the Lord has kept his word. The Lord has taught me, and I have learned how to be a deacon. It has been such a good, humbling, and fulfilling experience. I find it hard to put this all into words.

As my priestly ordination quickly approaches, I don’t expect anything to be any different. I know that I have put in the time at seminary. I know that I’ve studied and learned a lot of philosophy and theology. I know that I have grown as a man of God. In theory, I know how to be a priest, but on the practical level, I don’t. I have a lot to learn about how to be a good and effective priest in ministry, but I have extreme confidence that throughout the rest of my life as a priest, the Lord will teach me, and I will learn.